How to Change Your Personality?

When seeking to modify aspects of ourselves that we are unhappy with, it is important to first recognize the distinction between personality and behavior.

Our core personality traits influence but do not define who we are, and understanding where behaviors lie on this spectrum can help guide effective personal growth.

Personality vs. Behavior

Personality refers to consistent patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving that distinguish individuals from one another. It arises from a complex interplay of biological, environmental and social factors over the course of a lifetime.

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While fairly stable after childhood, certain aspects can become more or less prominent through conscious effort.

Behavior, on the other hand, represents specific actions – how we express ourselves in any given moment. Whereas personality colors our tendencies, behavior reveals our immediate choices.

This distinction matters because while instant behaviors can change, sustainable shifts require addressing deeper personality traits.

Factors That Shape Personality

Factors That Shape Personality
1. Genetics: Inherited traits play a significant role.
2. Environment: Surroundings and experiences influence development.
3. Family Dynamics: Upbringing and relationships with family members impact personality.
4. Culture: Cultural norms and values shape personality traits.
5. Social Interactions: Interactions with peers, friends, and society affect personality development.
6. Education: Formal education and learning experiences contribute to personality formation.
7. Life Experiences: Significant events and challenges influence personality development.
8. Temperament: Inherent disposition affects how individuals respond to stimuli.
9. Socioeconomic Status: Economic background can influence personality traits and behaviors.
10. Parenting Style: Parental behavior and discipline methods influence personality development.
11. Media and Technology: Exposure to media and technology impacts attitudes and behaviors.
12. Individual Choices: Personal decisions and actions contribute to shaping personality.

Our unique personality emerges from a tapestry of influences. Genetics account for approximately 50% of individual differences in traits like extraversion or neuroticism. How we were raised as children, our family dynamics , and life experiences also contribute substantially.

Other formative elements include culture, education levels, religion, relationships and personal beliefs we develop about ourselves over time.

In Between Qualities of Personality

Popular conceptions often present personality as wholly introverted vs. extroverted. In reality, most fall along spectrums between these extremes. One can be an ambivert moderately comfortable with both solitary and social activities.

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Evaluating our particular blend of traits provides a more nuanced self understanding than rigid labels. It also allows recognizing traits exist in degrees, leaving space for customizing our expression.

Beliefs and Self-Beliefs

The stories and thoughts we tell ourselves profoundly shape who we become. Core self-beliefs like “I am shy” or “I am not good with money” distinctly flavor our mindsets and actions in self fulfilling ways over the long term.

Challenging irrational beliefs by adopting more balanced, affirmative perspectives helps unlock potential for growth.

This addresses the first half of the proposed outline focusing on understanding personality vs. behavior and the various factors that shape one’s personality.

Learn New Habits

Lasting change stems from purposefully cultivating new patterns of thought and action over an extended period. To do so, it’s helpful to break large goals into smaller, action oriented steps one can focus on implementing each day.

Developing positive habits takes sustained practice and patience with oneself as comfort levels increase gradually over weeks or months.

For example, someone aspiring to be more social could begin by smiling and making eye contact with one new person daily, rather than overhauling their personality overnight.

Repetition strengthens neural pathways in the brain associated with any target behaviors.

Challenge Your Self-Beliefs

Our most intimate conversations should be with ourselves questioning the voice in our head. When critical thoughts arise, try examining them from a more understanding, compassionate viewpoint.

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Replace harsh “always” and “never” rules with flexible guidelines. Affirm strengths rather than dwelling on perceived flaws. Reframing internal dialogue in this gentle, constructive manner helps empower major shifts.

Focus on Your Efforts

Focus on Your Efforts

Change happens through small but meaningful steps added up over the long-haul, not perfection overnight. Adopting a mindset of growth appreciates attempts rather than just outcomes.

Celebrate effort rather than harshly judging results, which maintains motivation even through setbacks inevitable in life transformations. A supportive community also makes the road easier by providing alternative perspectives and accountability.

Act the Part

Submerging ourselves in new types of activities and social contexts nudges us outside usual routines, expanding our sense of what’s possible.

By “trying on” a different identity through low-stakes experiments like visiting an art gallery alone or making small talk in a casual setting, aspects of our character take shape that otherwise lay dormant. What we do shapes who we become in an iterative cycle.

A Word From Verywell

According to Dr. Tracy Todd, a psychology professor at Orange Coast College, Personality change takes time and conscious effort to transform on a deeper cognitive level, not just alter behaviors temporarily.

Her research suggests therapy providing behavioral strategies, coping skills practice and opportunities for interaction supports remaking habitual tendencies most effectively with patience and self understanding over months.

Personality Change Starts With Deciding Who You Want to Become

We’ve covered understanding personality traits and behaviors, as well as methods to cultivate new habits and perspectives. The next crucial step is crystallizing your vision through identifying a signature change to focus on above all others.

Choose a Single Primary Goal

Among desired modifications, select one overarching aim to prioritize investing your energy into. This anchors efforts and produces a multiplier effect impacting collateral areas.

For example, becoming more outgoing may organically spur friendliness simultaneously. In contrast, spreading efforts thin yields surface level shifts piecemeal versus holistic growth.

Why You Should Choose Just One Primary Goal

Benefit #1: One Goal Is Easier to Focus On
Without a lone flagship target, it’s easy to flit from half attempted objective to objective. Zeroing in concentrates mental resources.

Benefit #2: Progress on One Primary Goal Leads to Progress on Other Goals
Skills developed while tackling a central goal, like effective communication for cultivating confidence, often carry over to related areas too. Momentum in one sphere feeds the next.

Some potential primary goals include:

  • Becoming more confident
  • Learning to manage stress/worry/overthinking
  • Forming deeper relationships
  • Achieving work/life balance
  • Expressing creativity regularly

Choose based on what lifts your quality of life most. Reassess your goal periodically as you evolve to ensure continuous alignment with desired self concepts. Redoubling efforts now sets the stage for lifelong personality “generativity” nurturing continual growth within yourself and others.


Is it possible to change personalities?

Yes, personalities can evolve somewhat over time through conscious effort to develop new habits and perspectives.

How can I start changing my personality?

Focus on one key area like confidence, set small achievable goals, practice regularly, and replace negative self talk with positive affirmations.

Can I improve my personality?

Yes, regularly working on traits like communication skills, stress management, and relationship building can enhance your personality over time.

How do you create a new personality?

You can’t completely re-make your personality, but experimenting with new behaviors and activities helps nurture undiscovered strengths and dimensions of who you are.

How can I improve my personality and attitude?

Develop self-awareness, challenge limiting beliefs, learn to reframe mistakes positively, express gratitude, help others, spend time in nature, and practice mindfulness.

How do I find my personality?

Reflect deeply on your core values, interests, relationships, strengths/weaknesses, and life experiences to gain clarity on traits and qualities that define you.

What makes a person powerful?

Traits like strong communication and social skills, confidence, vision, work ethic, integrity, empathy, and the pursuit of helping others are signs of an impactful personality.

What is the most powerful personality type?

Assertive personalities with vision, determination and leadership abilities tend to make great impacts, though emotional intelligence and diverse skillsets are also powerful.

Which personality type is good?

All personality types have strengths, and what determines a “good” type depends on lifestyle fit and application of traits. Generally balanced, empathetic types are well equipped for close relationships.

What was Albert Einstein personality type?

Albert Einstein is thought to have displayed traits of an intellectual, eccentric and curious INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) personality type on Myers-Briggs.

Which personality type is attractive?

Confident, warm and kind individuals with a good sense of humor tend to be viewed as attractive regardless of specific personality type. Inner peace, integrity and empathy are also highly appealing traits.


while our personalities are shaped by innate tendencies and life experiences. we each have far more capacity for reinvention than often realized.

Understanding the interplay between traits and behaviors provides insight into both our strengths and areas for deliberate self cultivation.

Remember that personality change occurs incrementally through consistent effort over time rather than instantly. Be patient yet persistent in challenging limiting beliefs, practicing confidence building techniques.

surrounding yourself with support, maintaining focus on progress not perfection, and zeroing in on one primary transformation goal at a time.

Your core personality does not rigidly define you. Rather, it serves as fertile soil in which new growth may bloom according to the depths you choose to plumb and nurture within yourself daily.

Each small step, each modified perspective nudges you closer to manifesting a self-expression and impact upon the world of your highest choosing.

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